Monday, 15 June 2009

Who Dun It ?


AndyC said...

How do stones stop moths eating your clothes?
Because rolling stones gather no moths

Paul Talbot..aka Moffman said...

A bloke suspects his wife is having an affair with a council official. He decides to nip back home from work one afternoon to try and catch them.

The council official and the blokes wife are in bed when they hear a car pulling up in the drive. The wife nips out of bed for a look and says "oh my god is my husband, he kill us!" The council bloke says" quick where can I hide ?" The wife says "get into the wardrobe". The bloke runs upstairs and see's his wife "OK, I know you are having an affair, where is he ?" The wife says "honest love I am not having an affair with anyone". The bloke does not believe her and decides to check the room, he looks under the bed, behind the curtains and then finally the wardrobe. He sees the bloke and says "what the fek are you doing in there". The council bloke says, "its perfectly all right sir, your wife reported an outbreak of Clothes Moths in the house and I came to check it out" Yes says the bloke that's all well and good but why are you stark naked then ?" Quick as a flash the council guy looks down at himself and says " bloody hell the outbreak is worse than we thought, looks like I got here just in time :-))

Nick Carter said...

What have you got if you've got a moth ball in each hand?

A bloody big moth (groan, I'll get my coat!)

Nick Carter said...

A man wandered into a doctor's consulting rooms and asked if could see the doctor. The receptionist was hesitant to let him in, especially as it was Christmas Eve and she was waiting to turn off the Christmas lights in the waiting room and go home; but he was very insistent. So the Doctor, having had completed all his consultations for the day and feeling in a 'good will to men' mood, agreed to see him.
The man entered in a rather aimless manner and after some hesitation flopped into a chair and looked nervously around the room.
"How can I help you?" said the doctor.
"Well, it's like this" said the man. "I keep thinking I'm a moth".
"A moth?"
"Yes" the man replied. "I'm convinced that I'm a moth".
"Well I'm very sorry, but you're in the wrong place. What you need is a psychiatrist".
"That's what I've been thinking" replied the man .
"Well, as it happens, I know just the man". said the doctor "I'll give him a call and see if he can fix an appointment for you after the holiday."
The man agreed and the doctor made the appointment.
"Tell me" said the doctor "It must have been very apparent from the sign outside that I'm a general practitioner. So if you already know you need to see a psychiatrist, why did you come in?"
"Well" the man said in a resigned voice "The door was open and the lights were on ....."